Wow Nathaniel! I'm going through a hard breakup right now and it all just feels so messy and overwhelming. Reading your text today has resonated with my recent emotions and thoughts, especially when understanding the next steps in this path. I've been considering making amends with my ex-partner but at the same time, it feels like my heart - though hurting - is asking for time, patience, and openness for what is to come next. Following our hearts is sometimes the harder path and requires hard choices, but in the end, we know which are the best decisions (rationally and emotionally) to live our truest versions and to connect with our truest selves.
''Living with faith (...) feels like forever crossing bridges into unknown foreign lands and burning the bridges behind you. After all, it’s not faith if you’re always looking backwards and for a way out.''
I sent this to my person who told me "he wasn't trained to cry" I hope he connects with this piece, cuz deep down he is a creative writer despite his work in tech developing AI tools (he is feeling very lost rn as well). I've been following your work for years through YouTube to substack. Thank you for sharing your life experiences with us, your think pieces not only helps your audience, but also help us communicate with our loved ones who don't have the language to speak to us with the degree of vulnerability as you do. At the end we all are humans just at varing degrees of self-acceptance. Truly thank you, thank you for all your work throughout the years. I truly cherish and adore them🫶🏻
I read your poignant words and then discovered Laurent Dury for the first time, and I've got to say—I'm completely overcome. I am where you are. I am in freefall—I've sold my home and am moving to Lisbon, Portugal, in a matter of days. I am drowning in questions, doubts, euphoria, and the endless awareness that I can only take one path: the path I'm on.
I am also piercing the margins of my life and the buffer of security I've built, and I'm terrified. I've also been quite resistant to tears (I am the eldest daughter of Caribbean parents, after all), but after a year of quite literally learning how to breathe with a somatic healer, the tears sometimes push through. I'm starting to realize that my tears are a sign that I'm willing to feel. You are willing to feel, Nathaniel! And with each keystroke, you are giving each of us permission to do the same. Thank you for your words. Each and every one of them. <3
This is so beautiful. And I think as humans we should be grateful that we can feel so many different emotions considering we go through different phases in our lives.
Nathaniel, you literally are amazing, like one minute ago I was feeling so bad, because I just turn 18 and I feel like my childhood its going down and my family, friends and everything that I love is going to leave me and make a hole in my heart. I want to cry but I can't, idk why but I can't. And you know, your voice it's my favourite thing to listen when I'm not well or I just feel my energy down, I just think one thing in those moments, listen your substack or see your videos, you are my calm in a wild ocean. As you can see, english it's not my birth language, but I try everything just to communicate with you. I really appreciate everything thing you do, and I respect you a lot, really, a lot. I been following you since 2019-2020 and it's the best decision I made. Thank you, Nathaniel.
I really look forward to this newsletter. Truly. And today’s post feels completely aligned with what i’m currently going through as well—what i’m learning. It’s not easy at all. Just trying to open myself up to one wave at a time :)
I'm going through the same transition. incredibly intense, and just feel lost ! I have so much autonomy, I effectively transcended all the shit thrown at me to try and get me to conform, and its really just...confusing letting it all out because I find that sense of alignment and I also find myself trying to cling to something I understand. some tip on sleep, some tip on what to do and when. I feel...scared, to just go out there, but also like its the fear of a child who'd never been shown her homeworld, and venturing into it--both understandably and confusingly--without the "aid" of those who'd kept her trapped and mired in *their* neglected homeworlds is scary, honestly. At least right now
but I'm so fucking determined to keep trying. when emotions beg you to stay up through the night, do you listen? I'm inclined to think the answer is yes, and that the only paths froward are the one's I build for myself...and maybe it isn't a race as much as a becoming.
right now i know letting them flow is best, and at the same time I'm in a really, really unhealthy situation where the emotions coming up are incredibly strong, and since I'm living with the very same people who's actions those emotions are alerting me to, I've effectively been getting more negative feedback in addition to the already exhausting work of feeling it all. I'm trying to work my way through this, not wanting to cling, and I think, so far, it is possible to not cling. its like "there's always another secret" but with your ability to follow your truth in every situation
I felt these words so deeply. I think society has killed crying, even though Fergie let us all know that it's okay. I'm more of a mourner than I cried. Not sure why. It used to be the other way around. Nowadays, I mourn for those who never left their hometown. I believe It's important to move around, try new things, to live completely different chapters and non-overlapping chapters of ones life. Yet, funny enough, I still sometimes envy those who live in the place they call home. I've always felt this connection with you because, for me, the PNW is the hometown but hasn't been "home" since 19. Got to see the world. Got to feel the feels. Keep on feeling, man! 💪🏻
I first discovered you on YouTube, and it’s a joy to see you transition so seamlessly to the written medium. I have shed a lot of sad tears the past couple of years, so I am hoping this new year brings more of the tears from that profound feeling of beauty and appreciation you mentioned.
It’s exactly a moment or rather I stage I am also in right now and reading your blog article helps me to realise it and accept it: Wanting to close a chapter I really worked hard for the last years.. feels scary … and my mom would say quite irresponsible. As the first and only artist in the family it was quite hard to start listening to my heart but I am getting better at it. Reading about this “transition” moments helps me accept this stage of my life now and faith is a great word to start with
Nathaniel, I’m experiencing a lot of the same internal battles right now, and it’s incredibly reassuring to take in a lot of the same feelings I’ve been experiencing, in (what feels like) a perfectly articulated memo, where I can recognize that I’m not alone. That there are other human beings walking this Earth, experiencing similar thoughts and feelings I am working through in real time, in their own ways. It’s fascinating, really. I adore and admire humans for this ability. To connect with one another on such an interpersonal and resonant level that, most of the time, feels indescribably impossible! As if it shouldn’t exist or occur, according to probable standards. But that doesn’t make it impossible, and never takes away from the fact that it happens :) So thank you, for unknowingly providing a great comfort and indirect connection to me, a human being likely in an incredibly different part of the world as you, carrying out a very different life as you. Keep being you. I hope you’re well, and that you can continue to grow and shift in all of the ways this beautifully complex world allows us to! And I can’t wait to continue to hear and read your works. Cheers!
Thanks for making me feel every single word of that post. I’m at a moment in my life where I’m doing my best to crack myself open. A big part of that is to rebuild the connexion with my emotions. And even though, I haven’t found the cry button yet, listening to your voice talking about that with such vulnerability was in a way, the sign I needed to be sure I’m on the right path. Thanks a lot (again) for your incredibly valuable content. You are helping a lot of people out there.
I like your account of crying not out of pain or sadness, but out of overwhelm, often for the good things in life. I'm exactly the same! It's certainly interesting that we even do this, however it's best to let it out regardless :)
Wow Nathaniel! I'm going through a hard breakup right now and it all just feels so messy and overwhelming. Reading your text today has resonated with my recent emotions and thoughts, especially when understanding the next steps in this path. I've been considering making amends with my ex-partner but at the same time, it feels like my heart - though hurting - is asking for time, patience, and openness for what is to come next. Following our hearts is sometimes the harder path and requires hard choices, but in the end, we know which are the best decisions (rationally and emotionally) to live our truest versions and to connect with our truest selves.
''Living with faith (...) feels like forever crossing bridges into unknown foreign lands and burning the bridges behind you. After all, it’s not faith if you’re always looking backwards and for a way out.''
Yes!! Listen to the heart always!!
I sent this to my person who told me "he wasn't trained to cry" I hope he connects with this piece, cuz deep down he is a creative writer despite his work in tech developing AI tools (he is feeling very lost rn as well). I've been following your work for years through YouTube to substack. Thank you for sharing your life experiences with us, your think pieces not only helps your audience, but also help us communicate with our loved ones who don't have the language to speak to us with the degree of vulnerability as you do. At the end we all are humans just at varing degrees of self-acceptance. Truly thank you, thank you for all your work throughout the years. I truly cherish and adore them🫶🏻
Ahh this is really lovely to read. Thank you so much for reading.
I read your poignant words and then discovered Laurent Dury for the first time, and I've got to say—I'm completely overcome. I am where you are. I am in freefall—I've sold my home and am moving to Lisbon, Portugal, in a matter of days. I am drowning in questions, doubts, euphoria, and the endless awareness that I can only take one path: the path I'm on.
I am also piercing the margins of my life and the buffer of security I've built, and I'm terrified. I've also been quite resistant to tears (I am the eldest daughter of Caribbean parents, after all), but after a year of quite literally learning how to breathe with a somatic healer, the tears sometimes push through. I'm starting to realize that my tears are a sign that I'm willing to feel. You are willing to feel, Nathaniel! And with each keystroke, you are giving each of us permission to do the same. Thank you for your words. Each and every one of them. <3
Good for you for taking the leap. This journey is going to teach you so much.
This is so beautiful. And I think as humans we should be grateful that we can feel so many different emotions considering we go through different phases in our lives.
Indeed!
Nathaniel, you literally are amazing, like one minute ago I was feeling so bad, because I just turn 18 and I feel like my childhood its going down and my family, friends and everything that I love is going to leave me and make a hole in my heart. I want to cry but I can't, idk why but I can't. And you know, your voice it's my favourite thing to listen when I'm not well or I just feel my energy down, I just think one thing in those moments, listen your substack or see your videos, you are my calm in a wild ocean. As you can see, english it's not my birth language, but I try everything just to communicate with you. I really appreciate everything thing you do, and I respect you a lot, really, a lot. I been following you since 2019-2020 and it's the best decision I made. Thank you, Nathaniel.
I really look forward to this newsletter. Truly. And today’s post feels completely aligned with what i’m currently going through as well—what i’m learning. It’s not easy at all. Just trying to open myself up to one wave at a time :)
Thank you Bee. I am really grateful that you take the time to read and share your thoughts in such a beautiful way.
I'm going through the same transition. incredibly intense, and just feel lost ! I have so much autonomy, I effectively transcended all the shit thrown at me to try and get me to conform, and its really just...confusing letting it all out because I find that sense of alignment and I also find myself trying to cling to something I understand. some tip on sleep, some tip on what to do and when. I feel...scared, to just go out there, but also like its the fear of a child who'd never been shown her homeworld, and venturing into it--both understandably and confusingly--without the "aid" of those who'd kept her trapped and mired in *their* neglected homeworlds is scary, honestly. At least right now
but I'm so fucking determined to keep trying. when emotions beg you to stay up through the night, do you listen? I'm inclined to think the answer is yes, and that the only paths froward are the one's I build for myself...and maybe it isn't a race as much as a becoming.
Yeah, I think it's so important not to cling (though I feel that temptation too) and to let things flow as best as we can.
right now i know letting them flow is best, and at the same time I'm in a really, really unhealthy situation where the emotions coming up are incredibly strong, and since I'm living with the very same people who's actions those emotions are alerting me to, I've effectively been getting more negative feedback in addition to the already exhausting work of feeling it all. I'm trying to work my way through this, not wanting to cling, and I think, so far, it is possible to not cling. its like "there's always another secret" but with your ability to follow your truth in every situation
I felt these words so deeply. I think society has killed crying, even though Fergie let us all know that it's okay. I'm more of a mourner than I cried. Not sure why. It used to be the other way around. Nowadays, I mourn for those who never left their hometown. I believe It's important to move around, try new things, to live completely different chapters and non-overlapping chapters of ones life. Yet, funny enough, I still sometimes envy those who live in the place they call home. I've always felt this connection with you because, for me, the PNW is the hometown but hasn't been "home" since 19. Got to see the world. Got to feel the feels. Keep on feeling, man! 💪🏻
I first discovered you on YouTube, and it’s a joy to see you transition so seamlessly to the written medium. I have shed a lot of sad tears the past couple of years, so I am hoping this new year brings more of the tears from that profound feeling of beauty and appreciation you mentioned.
I think it's all connected. All of these different emotions.
Learning to cry ... it's quite the journey. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for reading!
❤️❤️❤️❤️
It’s exactly a moment or rather I stage I am also in right now and reading your blog article helps me to realise it and accept it: Wanting to close a chapter I really worked hard for the last years.. feels scary … and my mom would say quite irresponsible. As the first and only artist in the family it was quite hard to start listening to my heart but I am getting better at it. Reading about this “transition” moments helps me accept this stage of my life now and faith is a great word to start with
NOOOOO FRAME BY FRAME IS CLOSING PERMANENTLY?! Can I buy access in a few months through Twitter or email? I just started applying for jobs 😭
Unfortunately the time has come!
Nathaniel, I’m experiencing a lot of the same internal battles right now, and it’s incredibly reassuring to take in a lot of the same feelings I’ve been experiencing, in (what feels like) a perfectly articulated memo, where I can recognize that I’m not alone. That there are other human beings walking this Earth, experiencing similar thoughts and feelings I am working through in real time, in their own ways. It’s fascinating, really. I adore and admire humans for this ability. To connect with one another on such an interpersonal and resonant level that, most of the time, feels indescribably impossible! As if it shouldn’t exist or occur, according to probable standards. But that doesn’t make it impossible, and never takes away from the fact that it happens :) So thank you, for unknowingly providing a great comfort and indirect connection to me, a human being likely in an incredibly different part of the world as you, carrying out a very different life as you. Keep being you. I hope you’re well, and that you can continue to grow and shift in all of the ways this beautifully complex world allows us to! And I can’t wait to continue to hear and read your works. Cheers!
Kayla V. Wilson
Delaware - United States
Steam Locomotive Restoration Specialist
Thanks for making me feel every single word of that post. I’m at a moment in my life where I’m doing my best to crack myself open. A big part of that is to rebuild the connexion with my emotions. And even though, I haven’t found the cry button yet, listening to your voice talking about that with such vulnerability was in a way, the sign I needed to be sure I’m on the right path. Thanks a lot (again) for your incredibly valuable content. You are helping a lot of people out there.
I like your account of crying not out of pain or sadness, but out of overwhelm, often for the good things in life. I'm exactly the same! It's certainly interesting that we even do this, however it's best to let it out regardless :)